


Kpop 30 Days Challenge

by Wheres_my_badger



Category: ASTRO (Band), B.A.P, GOT7, Monsta X (Band), iKON (Kpop), 방탄소년단 | Bangtan Boys | BTS
Genre: Angst, Fluff, M/M, idk what else to tag, really - Freeform, so I guess I'll tag as I go, this is a challenge
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-04-01
Updated: 2017-04-11
Packaged: 2018-10-11 15:44:59
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 14
Words: 11,261
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10468473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Wheres_my_badger/pseuds/Wheres_my_badger
Summary: So, this is a writing challenge. Each day of April I'll (try to) post a story for a different kpop couple (Banghim, Daejae, Mark/Jinyoung, Yugyeom/Jaebum, Jinyoung/Yugyeom, Junbob, Junhwan, Double b, Binhwan, Binu and Hyungwonho). Each story will be based on the lyrics of a song, chosen randomly.I hope you like it (And I hope I can actually do it)See you soon ^.^1 - Yugbum; 2 - Banghim; 3 - Junhwan; 4 - SugaKookie; 5 - Binu; 6 - Hyungwonho; 7 - Markjin; 8 - Junbob; 9 - *** 10 - DaejaeWell, so, I failed... I'm actually impressed at how much I managed. As it was a thirty days challenge, I'll use the ones left for another challenge (when I'm on holidays), where I'll write one story every two days. Maybe I can do it like thisSorry, guys, I wish I'd managed to do it :(





	1. Because of The Thorns a Beautiful Rose Can Bloom (Yugbum)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Yugyeom is like a rose, and Jaebum knows he'll get hurt.  
> Angst  
> Based on Monsta X's song, Beautiful

Jaebum knew it was dangerous. He knew he would get hurt, but he couldn’t resist it. Maybe he was a bit of a masochist. Why else would he go after something that was most likely going to hurt him badly? Or maybe it was Yugyeom’s fault. Yugyeom was beautiful. His eyes, his lips, his smell, his everything. How could Jaebum resist him? He had Jaebum hooked. It was as if Yugyeom was a drug and Jaebum was an addict.

Yugyeom, Jaebum knew, was like a rose. Pretty, oh so pretty. But so dangerous. Going after him was like asking to hurt yourself. And yet, Jaebum couldn’t control his actions. Whenever Yugyeom was near him, his body acted on it’s own, and when he noticed he was already on the boy’s arms, at his mercy, waiting to be torn apart and destroyed. All Yugyeom had to do was touch Jaebum, and the elder’s body lit up, as if it was on fire. And when the other boy was finished with him, Jaebum was left bleeding, although not physically. And yet, he kept coming back. He kept fighting against the undefeatable thorns that surrounded Yugyeom.

It wasn’t Yugyeom’s fault, that he was like that. Not really. Roses need their thorns to bloom. Otherwise they get eaten, or trampled. Just plain destroyed. And Yugyeom was like the roses. He needed to be protected, or else the world would chew him and spit out a barely recognizable form, with little chance of full recovery. It’d happened before. Jaebum had never asked, no one ever asked. But everyone knew. It was clear in the way the boy moved, talked and behaved. It was obvious from the way he surrounded himself with pointy thorns that threatened to tear apart anything that came too close to him.

And the truth was that, despite that, Yugyeom was on Jaebum’s head all day, everyday. On his heart forever, constantly threatening to tear the older apart. And while most of the time, Jaebum knew that getting involved with Yugyeom was a mistake, when the younger was close to him, all rational thoughts abandoned him; all he could hear was his heart and body screaming at him, begging to touch the other boy, to take him and make him Jaebum’s.

Their love was red. Red like passion, red like blood. Red like the roses that resembled Yugyeom so much. Their love was a cycle, of getting closer, getting hurt and moving apart, before they were pulled back together. Because Jaebum was addicted, because Yugyeom was addictive.

And really, it hurt so bad, but Jaebum needed it to live. When they were together, Yugyeom’s thorns hurt Jaebum and made him bleed. But when they were apart, it was as if the thorns were twisting inside Jaebum, doing all they could to kill him, suffocate him. Jaebum couldn’t live without Yugyeom. And that’s why, at the end of the day, Jaebum always came back for more. Despite the thorns and the pain, Jaebum would always be there, waiting for Yugyeom to tear him apart.


	2. If (Banghim)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan knows that he should do something before it's too late.  
> kinda angsty?  
> Based on Got7's song 'If'

Himchan knew he should do something. He knew that if he waited too long, Yongguk would eventually find someone who made him happy enough for him to settle down, and then Himchan would be left alone, hurt and regretful. Still, it was so hard to do something.  
He’d fallen for Yongguk hard and quickly. Two months of working together and Himchan was already head over heels for the other boy. And since then his head was constantly running in circles, torn between screaming at Himchan to tell the other boy about his feelings before it was too late and telling Himchan to sit his ass down because he had no chance.  
He’d watched Yongguk over the years. The older had always found it extremely easy to be around girls and get them to fall for him. He sometimes did that to boys, too, although he didn’t usually notice when it happened. Probably because he wasn’t interested. Which just made Himchan even more scared of his own feelings.  
And this just made Himchan’s mind run wilder, screaming at him about ‘what ifs’ that threatened to choke him. What if he confessed? What if he was rejected? What it he wasn’t? What if it ruined their group? What if it ruined their friendship? It made Himchan crazy, made him want to bang his head against the nearest wall. He didn’t, though. Instead, he sighed and leaned against Yongguk’s shoulder, listening to him talk about the latest girl he’d gone out with, and pretending that it didn’t tear him apart.

“Why are you so quiet, Channie?”  
Asked Yongguk, when Himchan became too quiet.  
And Himchan looked at him, at that worried look in his eyes, and the words climbed up his throat, dying to get out, only to stop at his mouth, as Himchan was unable to just spit them out. ‘I love you!’ His heart screamed.  
But he knew Yongguk didn’t like him like that. He knew that that worried look meant nothing other than a friend worried about him. And still, he wondered what would it be like to hold Yongguk’s hand and kiss him until he felt numb.  
“It’s nothing. I’m just tired.”  
He mumbled to the older, and the words slowly went down his throat again, leaving behind a bitter taste of regret.

The thing about Yongguk that made Himchan a bit less scared, and at the same time absolutely terrified, was the fact that despite him always being out with numerous girls, he never really stuck with any of them. He went out, and every time he came back, he talked about them with so much love and fondness that Himchan worried he’d finally lost his chance. Still, a few days later the older would come back, expression sad and tired, and sit next to Himchan. The younger let him cry, let him talk as much as he wanted. And he felt bad, afterwards, for feeling so relieved that his chance hadn’t passed.  
However, this only made him more scared. Watching the others get rejected? Fine by him. But what if it happened to him? Should he really risk confessing, when chances were he’d get rejected even faster than all of those girls?  
So he never had the courage to talk to the other boy, not about this. He’d tried before, several times, only to back out before anything could even leave his mouth.  
He’d tried to give hints, tough. He was pretty sure that just the way he looked at Yongguk should be enough for the older to figure it out. It’d been enough for the other four to find out. But apparently Yongguk was too oblivious, far too gone on his quest for someone to love him like he wanted that he didn’t notice the boy standing right beside him.  
Himchan had tried to touch him more, he’d tried to give him looks, tried to be extra nice. And all he got was a fond smile and a ‘thank you, for being such a good friend.’. Which was not what he wanted at all. He wondered if there was even a chance of Yongguk loving him back. He didn’t think so; otherwise the older would have noticed his glances and how much Himchan blushed around him. But he never noticed, and it only discouraged Himchan further.  
And still, his mind insisted in noticing every little thing Yongguk did, and insisted on telling Himchan that he’d never know if he didn’t try. Which was true. As much as he’d like to tell himself he didn’t have a chance, he’d never know for sure if he didn’t say anything, and he’d spend the rest of his life thinking about what could have been.  
But instead, Himchan ran away. He hid from Yongguk, he pretended to enjoy knowing about Yongguk’s newest girlfriend and he suffocated the voice in his mind, which was asking him what would happen if he took Yongguk’s hand and didn’t let him go. He shut his mouth tightly, trapping inside all of the words he wanted to say, and nodded along as he wondered how long he still had, before all he could do was wonder about what they could have been.

And when Himchan once again laid his head on Yongguk’s shoulder, way too tired of his own thoughts to even sit up straight, Yongguk stilled for a second and looked at the boy lying on his shoulder. And as he went back to talking, half a second later, he wondered what would happen, if he dared to hold Himchan’s hand and never let him go, like he wanted to.


	3. (Thank You) For Helping Me Fly (Junhwan)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Junhoe is drowning. Jinhwan saves him.  
> kinda angsty? I think I listen to too much angsty music... it has a happy ending, though.  
> Based on BTS' song, Save Me

Junhoe was drowning. He'd been drowning for a while, trapped inside his own head, his thoughts suffocating him. He didn’t show it, because he didn’t want the others to think that he was weak. But everyday it became harder: harder to wake up, harder to fall asleep, harder to breathe, harder to live. He wasn’t living. He was surviving. Barely.  
He didn't know when it started. He figured it was somewhere during Mix & Match, when he noticed that he had nothing special to offer, nothing to add to the band. He was just another kid, following a childish dream of becoming a singer.  
He'd managed to reach that dream, alright. But the weight of fear never left his shoulders: fear of failing, fear of not being good enough, fear of disappointing everyone. He couldn’t breath, it was all too much. And soon his dream became a nightmare from which he couldn't scape.

Jinhwan was the first one to notice that Junhoe was struggling. He noticed the bags under the younger’s eyes, and how Junhoe seemed to have lost that brightness he used to have on his smile. He was the first one to become worried when he noticed how much weight Junhoe had lost and the first one to understand that something was wrong.  
He didn't know what had happened. Just days earlier, Junhoe seemed fine. Bright smile and sassy remarks like usual. So when the younger started smiling less, talking less and generally living less, Jinhwan was confused. It made no sense. Junhoe had always been one of the brightest in the group. But, it occurred to Jinhwan, as he watched Junhoe trying not to cry as he watched an animated short movie, he’d also been the most fragile one. And Jinhwan wondered if that had to do with the younger’s current state.  
It only took a few days of observing the younger before Jinhwan decided to look back, search their older videos. And his heart broke when he noticed that it wasn't that Junhoe had suddenly gotten tired of smiling. It's just that they hadn't noticed how none of Junhoe's smiles had reached his eyes for a while, and that he'd just gotten tired of hiding it.

"Junhoe?"  
Jinhwan hadn't known what to do. Watching Junhoe fade away made him scared, desperate to help the younger boy. But he didn't know what to do. So he watched the younger from afar, ready to act if something bad happened. Until one night when he couldn’t sleep and he heard Junhoe trashing around in the middle of the night, before he woke up panting, only to sigh a few seconds later and go quiet again.  
"Hyung? What are you doing here?"  
Asked the younger. Jinhwan felt a pang on his heart, because Junhoe's voice sounded so, so small.  
"I wanted to see if you were ok. You were quiet today."  
The surprised look on Junhoe's face made Jinhwan want to hit himself for not talking to the younger earlier.  
"I-I'm okay, hyung. I'm just tired."  
Jinhwan bit his lip. He knew the younger was lying, but pointing that out would only push him away. So Jinhwan bit his tongue.  
"Ok, but know that I'm here if you want to talk. About anything, ok?"  
Junhoe nodded, and Jinhwan wanted to cry in relief when he saw a little flicker of light on the boy's eyes.  
"Ok, hyung. Thanks."  
Jinhwan smiled softly and got up, kissing Junhoe's forehead before leaving.  
That night, Junhoe managed to fall asleep easily, something he hadn't been able to do in a while. He did wake up in the middle of the night, something he’d become used to, feeling his throat close with fear, suffocating him. But this time, for some reason, the room didn't seem so dark and lonely as it usually did.

On the following day, Junhoe was surprised to find Jinhwan by his bed when he woke up.  
"Morning, Junhoe!"  
Junhoe stared for a second. What was Jinhwan doing there?  
“Uhn, morning, hyung…”  
He said, confused. Jinhwan smiled brightly at him and Junhoe felt his belly warm up and his heart skip a beat. The older then stretched a hand to Junhoe and the younger held it confusedly, before he was pulled to his feet. He stumbled a bit, and the only thing that kept him from falling was Jinhwan’s hand on his. The older giggled and kissed Junhoe’s cheek, and suddenly the day felt brighter.  
“You’re cute, June-yah. Now let’s go have breakfast before Hanbin has a stroke.”  
Junhoe followed, dumbfounded, ignoring his absurdly fast heartbeat and focusing on anything but the feeling of Jinhwan’s hand on his.

That night, Jinhwan followed Junhoe to his room. He’d been near Junhoe the whole day (not that Junhoe is complaining, far from that), and when the others headed to their own beds to sleep, saying their goodnights, Jinhwan looked at Junhoe as if he was calculating something, before he laid down on the younger’s bed. Junhoe bit his lip. He knew this meant that Jinhwan wanted to spend the night, but… he couldn’t. It wasn’t like Junhoe didn’t want him to. It was just that Junhoe couldn’t bare the idea of accidentally waking Jinhwan up in the middle of the night, when he inevitably woke up, suffocating as always.  
“Hyung…”  
It was all he had to say, before Jinhwan stood up smiling at him reassuringly. Letting him know that it was ok.  
“I’ll go to bed now, Junhoe-yah.” Said the older. Then he kissed the tip of Junhoe’s nose. “Come to me if you need anything, don’t worry about bothering me. You never bother me.”  
And with that he left, and Junhoe stayed behind, his heart warmer than it’d been in quite some time. Because Jinhwan understood. Jinhwan let Junhoe deal with his stuff without making the younger feel that he was being a bother or a weight. He offered Junhoe a friendly shoulder, without forcing him to talk before he was ready, and it made Junhoe’s heart beat so fast that it threatened to suffocate him, although it was different from the suffocating feeling that he got from his dreams.  
When he woke up in the middle of the night, panting as usual, he didn’t even hesitate before he got up and headed to Jinhwan’s room. He did hesitate at the door, but his heart was beating fast, begging him to just enter the older’s room, so that’s what he did. He turned the handle and carefully made his way to Jinhwan’s bed, softly calling the older’s name. Jinhwan woke up almost immediately, as if he was waiting for Junhoe. He simply smiled, a smile Junhoe could see despite the darkness, and lifted his covers, and Junhoe gladly slipped under them and cuddling up to Jinhwan.  
“Do you want to talk?” Asked the older. Junhoe shook his head, breathing in Jinhwan’s scent. He heard Jinhwan chuckle slightly before the older grabbed his chin and lifted his face up. “Can I kiss you?”  
He asked, and as soon as Junhoe nodded, their lips met on a sweet kiss, that would stay on Junhoe’s mind forever.

After that night, Junhoe made it a habit to go to Jinhwan’s bed. Some nights were good, and they just talked and cuddled and kissed. Some nights Junhoe’s mind wandered back to those hurtful thoughts he used to have, and on those nights Jinhwan held his hand and kissed him and whispered sweet things to him, making the darkness that surrounded Junhoe feel a bit less dark and frightening. And slowly, the good nights started to happen more often and the bad nights became scarce. Because Jinhwan was Junhoe’s light. Jinhwan was the one who saved him, who held out his hand and pulled Junhoe up, and who continued to do so every day. And Junhoe knew that as long as Jinhwan was with him, he would be able to fly without worrying about falling.


	4. Your 'Puss in Boot' Like Gaze (Sugacookie)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Jung kook just wanted to be in control.  
> I don't know how to define the genre....  
> Based on Astro's song, Cat's Eye

Jungkook had grown since BTS’ debut. He’d grown a lot, both physically and mentally. And he was quite proud of that, enjoying the feeling of being taller than all of the members, of being legally an adult, like the others. It gave him a sense of control that he’d missed a lot on those first years in BTS, when he was just a kid, suddenly thrown into a mad world, along with six other boys who were much older and more in control than him. So he liked having control over his things, finally, after struggling for so long.  
And now he was losing this control and he hated it. And why was he losing it, you ask? Easy: Min Yoongi. Don’t ask Jungkook when it started. He doesn’t know. All he knows is that one day he was happily playing around with his hyungs, 100% in control of his feelings and emotions, and then on the next day Yoongi smiled at him and his world fell apart. Because really, since when does Yoongi has such a cute smile?

Jungkook sighed. Across the room, he can see Taehyung admiring a speck of dust that happened to pass his way. By his side is a very tired looking Jimin pretending to laugh at whatever joke Yoongi had just told. Jungkook knew he’d told a joke, because Yoongi’s jokes were the worst. No one ever laughed (hence Taehyung staring at the dust, instead of laughing.), except for Jimin, who was far too sweet for his own good, and always pretended to laugh. And yet, here Jungkook was, wishing he’d been close enough to justify laughing, because Yoongi’s smile when someone other than Jimin laughed at his joke was the sweetest thing ever.  
Groaning, Jungkook resisted the urge to hit his head on the floor repeatedly. He’d never had problems concentrating and directing his thoughts to where he wanted. Why now, of all times, was he having this kind of problem?  
“Kookie? Are you okay?”  
Jungkook glanced up, spotting Jin, who had crouched in front of him.  
“I’m fine, hyung. Just have a lot in my mind.”  
Jin nodded and smiled softly, getting up.  
“Ok, I’ll leave you to it, then. Come to me if you need anything.”  
Jungkook smiled. It was good to finally be treated like an adult, instead of like a toddler that needed to be looked after, he though. Unfortunately, that thought led him back to his previous train of thought, which led him to, once again, stare at Yoongi at the other side of the room. Oh, gods, he had to solve this situation.

It took Jungkook about a week to finally decide that he couldn’t take it any longer. He was constantly distracted, be it by Yoongi’s smile, by his eyes or by him in general. And it truthfully annoyed him. He couldn’t concentrate when Yoongi was near him, and living together, being together almost 24/7, it was pretty damn hard for Jungkook to not be near Yoongi. So he decided that he had to act, had to do something, before he went freaking crazy.  
And that’s why he asked Yoongi to go with him to a convenience shop at 11:30pm. Admittedly, it wasn’t the most romantic place or situation: they were sweaty from practice and dead on their feet. The convenience store was empty, except for the half-asleep employee, who grumpily sold them the ice creams they’d taken from the fridge. But Jungkook knew that he had to do this soon, otherwise he’d lose the courage he’d managed to muster. Which wasn’t much to begin with.  
“Hyung…”  
He began, once they were sat at the bench in front of the store, side by side, eating their ice creams. Yoongi turned to him, his eyes soft, prompting the younger to keep talking. Jungkook felt a shiver go up his spine. He could feel his hands trembling and he cursed his body for abandoning him when he needed it the most. He bit his lip, looking down. He was an adult, damnit. He’d been forced to grow up years ago, why was he suddenly feeling so young all over again?  
“Kookie? Are you okay?”  
Jungkook sighed. He couldn’t do it. Not when Yoongi was looking at him like that, not when he knew that he could lose Yoongi forever if he ever told him. He knew Yoongi liked him. But he also knew it wasn’t the same feeling that Jungkook had for the older. And he couldn’t get it confused, otherwise it would be a complete mess.  
“Can I try your ice cream, hyung?”  
Asked the younger, swallowing the disappointment and forcing himself to believe that it was for the best.

Jungkook didn’t stop thinking about Yoongi. He forced himself to hide it better, although it was still hard to control himself when the older was near him. Still, he managed to get himself under control. That is, until three days after the convenience shop incident, when Yoongi pushed him against the practice room wall, after all of the others had left.  
“H-hyung?”  
Jungkook stuttered. Yoongi smiled at him. Not his sweet smile that he usually wore, but a smile that made a shiver run down Jungkook’s whole body.  
“You know, Kookie, I really thought you’d do something. But since you didn’t…”  
Yoongi brought Jungkook’s head down and crashed their lips together, easily controlling the kiss. And, Jungkook found out, he didn’t really mind. He was kissing Yoongi, and he tasted as sweet as Jungkook had imagined, and all of a sudden, control didn’t seem like such an important thing. Maybe Jungkook was allowed to not be in control 100% of the time. Maybe he could still be a bit naïve, and let someone else take care of him. Let Yoongi take care of him.


	5. Don't Go, Please Don't Leave (Binu)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eunwoo is in love with Moonbin. It'll take a while for him to move on.  
> Angst (I need to listen to happier songs...)  
> Based on The Legend's song, Left Out

They used to be happy. They used to be happy, and Dongmin couldn’t tell when ‘we’re happy together’ stopped being true and started being something he told himself to avoid the truth.

He laid on his bed, wide-awake despite the fact that it was way too late. Or too early, if he thought about how the sun was already coming up. He stared at the wall besides him, as he’d been doing for hours already, trying to make his mind stop. It didn't work, it never did. His mind kept playing, again and again, the same scenes. The moment Moonbin had accepted him, his love, the moment Moonbin had told him that he couldn't do it any longer, couldn't be with him anymore, and everything in between. It was tiring, so tiring, and Dongmin was exhausted, but he still couldn’t sleep.

 

_"H-hyung?"_

_Dongmin could feel the blush on his cheeks, but didn't look away._

_"I'm sorry, Bin. I just... I didn't think it'd be fair to not tell you."_

_He stared at the stunned boy for a second longer, before it became too much and he let his gaze drop. And then there was a hand on his chin, lifting his face up._

_"Hyung..." Said Moonbin. And then he pressed his lips to Dongmin’s in a soft kiss that lasted only a second. "I like you too." ___

__

__Jinwoo was stirring besides him. The others had been kind enough to change the room arrangement without questioning the now ex-couple. Dongmin sighed, rubbing his eyes, which were stinging from the lack of sleep, from staring at the wall for too long and maybe from tears, but he was trying to avoid those, so he pretended they were not there. After a few more minutes Jinwoo got up, and Dongmin kept his eyes closed, pretending to sleep, because he didn’t want Jinjin to worry about him. The older had enough on his plate without having to worry about Dongmin’s pathetic broken heart, too._ _

__“Guys, wake up. I’ll be making breakfast, if you want to eat I suggest you hurry.”_ _

__Said the leader, rubbing Dongmin’s arm before leaving the room. Dongmin heard mumbling and the rustling of sheets on the bed above his and he sighed. Soon he’d have to get up and face another day._ _

__

___Moonbin giggled, holding tightly onto Dongmin's hand. Dongmin’s smile was so big he felt like his face was going to break at any moment. The people walking around them glanced at them as if they were crazy, but Dongmin didn't mind. Not when he had Moonbin with him like that._ _ _

___"Isn't it fun, hyung?"_ _ _

___Dongmin chuckled. Moonbin had convinced him, that morning, that it would be nice to have a day off. And Dongmin couldn't deny Moonbin when the younger looked at him with those puppy eyes of his, so he'd agreed to try._ _ _

___They had been heading to the practice room with the others, like always. Until Moonbin had held onto Dongmin's hand and pulled him to the side, suddenly, making Dongmin trip before he understood what was happening and started running with his boyfriend, leaving behind the other 4, who were probably confused as hell._ _ _

___"You're crazy."_ _ _

___Laughed Dongmin, resisting the urge to kiss Moonbin right there._ _ _

___"You still love me." Dongmin smiled. It was true. He loved Moonbin no matter what. "C'mon, let's go get something to drink."_ _ _

___They entered the cosy coffee shop Moonbin had told Dongmin about, and Dongmin couldn't be happier. ____ _

____ _ _

____When Dongmin did finally get up and to join the others for breakfast, everyone was already eating. Usually Jinwoo would complain about his laziness, but they’d all been tiptoeing around Dongmin lately. It was unnerving. Dongmin sighed and headed to his sit, and his eyes accidentally met Moonbin's. He quickly looked down, because even that one second of contact was enough to make his heart race and break even more, and he didn’t need more pain._ _ _ _

____But he didn't turn fast enough, and before he knew it the look on Moonbin's eyes flashed before his own. The younger’s eyes were red, as if he'd just cried or was about to cry. They looked sad and guilty, and Dongmin couldn't take it. He couldn't bare that look that seemed to be on Moonbin's face all the time lately. Because it gave him hope._ _ _ _

____He worked so hard to shut his heart up, to tell that stupid heart of his that it was over, that he had no chance anymore. And then Moonbin looked at him like that, like he regretted breaking up with Dongmin, and the older's heart immediately started beating fast, like the stupid fool it was._ _ _ _

____ _ _

_____Moonbin held Dongmin’s hand under the table, smiling cutely and glancing at the older secretively. It made Dongmin want to giggle, the fact that they were holding hands when the others were around. He heard Jinwoo sigh, and looked up, to see the leader looking at him and Moonbin fondly. Dongmin felt his cheeks heat up and let go on Moonbin’s hand, making the younger look at curiously._ _ _ _ _

_____“Yah, you two, can you try to be a little more subtle?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Dongmin felt his cheeks heat up at Myungjun’s words, and Moonbin didn’t look much better. Jinwoo giggled._ _ _ _ _

_____“Don’t worry, guys, we really don’t care. Just stop with the mushy bullshit while we’re around, ok?”_ _ _ _ _

_____Dongmin looked down, wanting to disappear, but his heart felt warm. It was good to have a secret relationship, but it was even better to know that the others accepted their relationship. And when Moonbin once again held his hand, this time without worrying about the others seeing, Dongmin smiled and thought that he’d never felt happier in his life. ____ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Dongmin closed his eyes tightly, both to send the memories away and to stop the tears from falling from his eyes. He couldn't cry. He needed to stop tearing up whenever Moonbin looked at him. He sighed and sat down, opening his eyes. Jinwoo offered him a plate and he took it, gratefully._ _ _ _ _ _

______Moonbin and Sanha had gone back to talking, and Moonbin's soft voice reminded Dongmin of the day they’d broken up. It was an irony, really, that Moonbin’s voice was so soft when he pronounced the words that would hunt Dongmin for the rest of his life._ _ _ _ _ _

______It had been days ago, but the memory was so vivid, Dongmin could practically see it, as if it was happening all over again. He could see Moonbin’s red eyes and wet cheeks as the younger explained that he couldn’t do it anymore. Dongmin could hear the younger saying that he was sorry, so sorry, and that he wished it wasn’t like that. ‘I can’t love you, Dongmin. Not like you want me to. I’m sorry.’_ _ _ _ _ _

______It had broken Dongmin. He’d wanted to scream, to yell at Moonbin, to hate the other boy for fooling him for so long. But he couldn’t. As much as he wished to hate the Moonbin he just couldn’t. So all he did was watch as the younger turned away, heading to god knows where, as the tears fell down his face and his heart screamed in pain._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Dongmin knows, looking at Moonbin talking to Sanha, that thinks won’t ever go back to how they were. He knows he can’t make Moonbin love him, and that he should let go. But he can’t. At least not for now. So he picks up his food and starts to eat, and wonders if his heart will ever heal enough to let go._ _ _ _ _ _


	6. Falling in Love (Hyungwonho)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> OK, SO! I know, ok, that this isn’t very loyal to the song. BUT I had a lot of difficulty with this one, I don’t know why. Plus, it’s my birthday and one of my favourite couples, so I indulged myself a bit with this fluff.  
> Hope you like it ^.^ 
> 
> Hoseok is falling for Hyungwon  
> Fluff  
> Based on UNIQ's song, Falling in Love

Hoseok was falling. He’d been falling for a while, but he had been trying to deny it and run away from it. With no success, unfortunately. It started during No Mercy. Him and Hyungwon had, for some weird reason he couldn’t really explain, gotten close during the program. Really close. They trained together and hung out together when they had spare time, which, unfortunately, was rare. They were even paired up by the program organizers themselves, filming together their introduction. And at first, Hoseok had been simply glad to have someone as nice and good as Hyungwon as a close friend. Except this soon changed.  
He didn’t notice when that feeling of friendship started to develop into something more. Or rather, he noticed, but he preferred to ignore it in hopes that it would go away. It didn’t really work.  
It started of slowly enough. A random thought about how good Hyungwon looked here, a too long to be normal glance there. And Hoseok ignored it, and repressed it, and refused to think about why he was always happier when Hyungwon was near him. And then suddenly, Hoseok caught himself watching Hyungwon wherever the younger went and laughing whenever the younger said something even slightly funny. And at that moment, Hoseok wondered if trying to supress it had been the best idea. (Spoiler alert, it hadn’t.)

It had taken a while for Hoseok to accept his situation, but eventually he figured that it was no use running away because he was already too in deep to go back now. In the end, Hoseok had decided that, if he ever decided to tell Hyungwon, it would be better if he though of what to say beforehand. He rehearsed it, as ridiculous as it sounded. He spent many nights wondering about the best way to tell the younger. But in the end, he always came to the same thought, to something he was trying very hard to convince himself of: that it was better to never tell Hyungwon and have him for the rest of his life, as a friend, than to tell him and risk losing their friendship forever.  
Even then, Hoseok wanted to tell Hyungwon. He really did. Because sometimes the younger would send him glances from across the room, smiling shyly when Hoseok caught him. He would let his touches linger when he touched Hoseok, and he seemed to be set on being near Hoseok for as long as possible during the day. It made Hoseok confused. So he wanted to tell the younger about his feelings, because he was dying to know if Hyungwon liked him back, or if everything was just on Hoseok’s mind. But he couldn’t do it. He just couldn’t. He needed time.   
Sometimes Hoseok got pissed. It wasn’t common, but it happened. It happened when Hyungwon entered the room, looking more beautiful than anyone had the right to be so early in the morning, and smiled at Hoseok, without even knowing what he was doing to the older. On those days, Hoseok wanted to die. Because on those days everything about Hyungwon drove him crazy, more than the usual, and Hyungwon just continued living his life, as if nothing was happening. And Hoseok got the urge to just shake him and scream at him until he understood what he did to the older, because it wasn’t possible that the boy could be so oblivious, as to not notice Hoseok practically drooling over him.  
He never did it, though. He continued pretending that everything was ok, and let Hyungwon sit next to him during breaks, and talk to him about whatever random subject he wanted to, despite how hard it was for him to have the other boy so close and yet so far. On those days, when Hyungwon was animatedly talking about something he loved, Hoseok got the urge, stronger than ever, to just tell him. Just tell him and get this over with, even if getting this over with meant getting rejected.

Life went on. Hoseok continued imagining how it would be to tell Hyungwon, without actually doing it, Hyungwon continued driving Hoseok crazy without knowing. Hoseok learned to deal with that, as well as he could. Now and then he’d try to tell the younger how he felt, only to back down soon after. Sometimes he would try hard to suffocate the feeling, willing it to go way, but it only grew more and more each day.  
They debut. It was amazing; it was Hoseok’s dream come true. And the image that was on his mind forever, from the best day of his life, was Hyungwon’s smile. Was the way Hyungwon had smiled at him and run to him as soon as they were backstage, and hugged him tightly. It was the most utterly bittersweet memory Hoseok had. And he treasured it a lot, and at the same time wanted it gone. Hoseok wondered if he’d ever get over this feeling.

It all came to an end, though, a few days after their debut. They were tired, exhausted even, but happy. They’d made it. They’d finally fucking made it. And just that little taste of happiness, of the amazingness that was performing on stage, made him want to keep moving forward. Keep singing, keep producing, even if it was stuff that would never see the light of day. So he often laid on his bed, at night, and wrote down lyrics and thoughts and ideas. It was on one of those nights that Hyungwon laid next to him, resting his head on his shoulder.  
“Hey. What are you doing?”  
Asked the younger. Hoseok practically jumped. He’d been so absorbed by his song that he didn’t even notice who the person by his side was. He should have. Hyungwon was the only one who laid on Hoseok like that.  
“I-I, nothing. Nothing, I’m composing.”  
Hyungwon smiled, that soft smile that Hoseok loved so much.  
“Nice. Can I see it?”  
Hoseok bit his lip. He didn’t want to show it. Not because he thought it was bad, or because it wasn’t ready. But because it was about Hyungwon, and Hoseok was scared of the other finding out. but Hyungwon was looking at him, puppy eyes wide and pleading. He sighed.  
“Sure.”  
He said, handing Hyungwon his notebook. His cheeks felt warm, and he knew he was blushing.  
Hyungwon read in silence, for which Hoseok was glad. But then he suddenly stopped reading and looked at Hoseok, something undecipherable shining on his eyes.  
“Are you… is this about… someone?”  
Hoseok blushed more. It was his chance. He’d always told himself that he would do it if he ever had a chance, and this was his chance.  
“It… it is.” Hyungwon bit his lip, looking down. Hoseok frowned. “Is this… a problem?”  
He asked, cautiously. Hyungwon looked up at him, and his eyes were shining with a weird light. He seemed… hurt?  
“Who is this about?”  
And then Hoseok understood.  
“Oh my god.”  
He understood and couldn’t hold the giggle that escaped his mouth. Because Hyungwon was jealous. He was jealous of Hoseok, and Hoseok could have never seen this coming. From all the scenarios he’d created on his head, this had never been one of them. Hyungwon actually liking him back had never been an option.  
“Hey, why are you laughing?”  
Asked the younger, seeming offended. Hoseok laughed harder, before breathing in deeply, still smiling.  
“Its about you, idiot. I like you.”  
It wasn’t that romantic. It wasn’t that sweet. But as Hyungwon’s face lit up with a smile and he moved forward, softly brushing his lips against Hoseok’s, the older felt that he didn’t really care. It was perfect. They were perfect.


	7. Up & Down (Markjin)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dating Mark is like being in a rollercoaster.  
> Fluff?  
> Based on Shinee's song, Up & Down

Dating Mark was... difficult. And a bit stressful, sometimes. But Jinyoung liked it. He liked Mark too much to let go just because dating the boy was a bit harder than he’d expected.  
Jinyoung had known, from the beginning, that he had no chance of resisting Mark. From the day they’d met, the day they were introduced to each other as future band mates, Jinyoung had fallen for Mark. For his pretty eyes and sweet smile. He could barely believe that the boy was older than him, he was just too cute to be older. He’d prayed to the gods for the boy to be an arsehole. If he was an arsehole, Jinyoung would have no problem dealing with him. Unfortunately, Mark quickly proved himself to be extremely kind and sweet. And all Jinyoung could do was sigh and accept that he was fucked.

It was difficult to date Mark, just like it had been difficult to have a crush on Mark. Why? Because he was really freaking unpredictable. One day he was smiling and running around, all hyper and happy, laughing at everything Jinyoung did. On those days, Mark would cuddle up to Jinyoung when they had a moment off. He would laugh at Jinyoung’s jokes and play with the younger, and would smile so big it made Jinyoung’s heart want to beat out of his chest. On those days, Jinyoung almost believed there was something more between them. But then on the next day, Mark would be closed off and gloomy. He didn’t laugh, no matter what anyone did. He wasn’t rude, or anything like that. He just stayed quiet, not smiling or playing around, only moving or interacting with the others when it was necessary.  
At first, Jinyoung had been hurt by Mark’s behaviour. For a while he thought he’d done something wrong, but he couldn’t think of something that could have upset the boy. Then he thought that Mark had gotten tired of him. This happened a few times, before Jinyoung noticed that Mark’s cold behaviour was towards everyone, not just him. It made him relieved, but it also intrigued him. He wanted to ask the older, but he felt that he shouldn’t. There was probably a reason for Mark to be like that, and if the older ever wanted him to know, he would tell Jinyoung, on his own time.

It took five months and two weeks for Jinyoung to finally tell Mark about his feelings. He chose, carefully, one of Mark’s good days. He was a nervous wrack already, and Mark was smiling sweetly at him. He didn’t even want to imagine what he would be like if he tried to confess with Mark staring at him with that blank expression that he had on his bad days.  
It turns out, Jinyoung didn’t have to worry. Mark had smiled even bigger at him, then hugged him and laughed.  
“I really like you too, Jinyoungie.”  
It made Jinyoung so happy he couldn’t help but to laugh, relieved. And Mark laughed with him, and Jinyoung couldn’t be happier.  
Except on the next day, Mark barely looked at him. Jinyoung smiled at the older, soon noticing that it was a bad day when Mark didn’t return the smile, but simply nodded his head. Honestly, it hurt Jinyoung a bit. He’d expected to have some kind of privilege, being the boyfriend and all. But it turns out, Mark still acted cold towards him on his bad days, just like he acted to the others. It took a while for Jinyoung to get used to it. On one day he was being kissed and Mark was being extremely cute to him, and on the next he was completely ignored by the older.  
So, dating Mark was difficult. Liking him had been difficult. But Jinyoung loved Mark. The boy was sweet and kind and everything Jinyoung could want. He never did tell Jinyoung what those off days were about. But Jinyoung learned that he didn’t care. Not when Mark looked at him like he was the most precious thing on earth. Not when he loved Mark like he did.


	8. You're The Only One For Me (Junbob)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bobby fucked up. He fucked up and he knows.  
> Angst, again... also, not that close to the song, but I tried, hope you like it.  
> Based on Infinite's song, Come back again

Bobby knew it was his fault. He knew that, but honestly, that just made things worse. He’d known, from that beginning, that dating Junhoe would be hard. Firstly because they were too different, but mostly because Junhoe was so… fragile. The younger boy acted tough, as if nothing could hurt him, but in truth, it was incredibly easy to hurt Junhoe. Scarily so. And that’s what Bobby had done. He regretted it, god did he regret it. He stayed up at night, the words he’d said to Junhoe running through his mind, not letting him sleep. He got mad at himself, wanted to hit himself repeatedly for hurting Junhoe like that. He’d never regretted anything as much as he regretted hurting Junhoe.

Despite the more than ideal end of their relationship, Junhoe took it all on stride. He was sure doing better than Bobby, at least. Bobby had expected the boy to avoid him, to pretend he didn’t exist, to do anything. But Junhoe simply continued living his life. A bit more reservedly when it came to Bobby, but handling it frustratingly well. It made Bobby pissed, how the younger would wake up and greet him politely, while he had to deal with headaches and stinging eyes from lack of sleep. And then it made him feel guilty, for being pissed just because the younger had moved on.  
He’d asked Junhoe, once he had the courage to face the younger again, how he did it. Junhoe had seemed taken aback by the question, or maybe it was just the fact that Bobby was actually talking to him.  
“I… figured that crying and dwelling on it would do no good. It’s not like we’re getting back together, so it’s better to just move on.”  
It had hurt Bobby that Junhoe could speak of their relationship so detachedly. But then again, he had no right to say anything. He’d been the one to fuck them up, after all.  
“Doesn’t… doesn’t it hurt?”  
Had asked the older. Junhoe had looked him in the eyes, a weird light shining on them.  
“Give it time, hyung.”  
Was all he said, before he deemed the conversation over and walked away.  
Bobby felt like crying. He was a fool to think that anything would come of it.

A few weeks after their break up, Bobby had gone out. He knew it was risky, but he had to do something, otherwise he’d go crazy. So he chose a pretty girl, someone from the company, who had to be as discreet about it as him, and went out on a date. And then another, with another pretty girl. And like that with many others, and none worked out. Because one of them was too short, the other had too light skin, the other had a too high voice, and many other excuses, but honestly? It all came down to the fact that none of them were Junhoe.  
He tried guys, too. And it only took two tries for him to notice that no one would ever be able to fill the spot Junhoe had left. So he stopped. He stopped and apologized to the ones he’d hurt, even though he knew they didn’t really care. He then gathered all the courage he had and knocked on Junhoe’s door.

“Can we talk?”  
Junhoe was standing inside his room, looking at Bobby confusedly. Bobby was standing in front of the boy, hands fisted on the hem of his shirt and bottom lip between his teeth.  
“Sure.”  
Said Junhoe, after a few seconds. He looked back into the room and Jinhwan got up, getting the hint and leaving the room. Bobby entered, trying to ignore the way Jinhwan had glared at him warningly.  
“Junhoe… I wanted to apologize.”  
Junhoe raised an eyebrow, and it did nothing to soothe Bobby’s nerves.  
“You’ve done that already. And I told you I was working on forgiving you. Don’t rush me, hyung. It’ll take time.”  
Bobby felt intimidated by how mature Junhoe was being. He swallowed dryly.  
“I-I know. I was wondering… I was wondering if you could forgive me enough to give me one more chance.”  
At those words, Junhoe’s mask slipped. Only for a second, but enough for Bobby to see how hurt the boy still was, how much Bobby had actually scarred him. Bobby could feel his own heart breaking a little bit more, but kept on looking at Junhoe.  
“What?”  
Was all Junhoe said. His voice wavered a bit, his pain showing through that simple word. Bobby flinched. He should have stopped there and he knew it, but he was selfish. He didn’t want to hurt anymore.  
“I… I fucked up, Junhoe. I fucked up real bad, I know that. But… I love you, I… I can’t leave without you.”  
Bobby wondered if he’d gone too far. Than he searched for Junhoe’s eyes, and what he found made him regret his actions all over again.  
“Get out.” Said Junhoe. His voice trembled, just like his hands were, as tears welled up in his eyes. “Get out right now.”  
He said. Bobby did. He’d fucked up again.  
He left the room, face in his hands, and pretended not to see the glare on Jinhwan’s face and the older rushed to his room, seeming to know that Bobby had fucked up again. Bobby settled on his bed. He should’ve known best. Junhoe was the only one for him, and would be for a while. But he had to let go. He had to let go before it was too late and he lost the boy forever.


	9. Sorry?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry guys, I didn't have the time to write this one

This was supposed to be Binu, but I couldn't write it, sorry. maybe by the end of the month (after a bit of rest) I can upload this fan fiction and any others that I fail to upload on time... anyways, sorry.


	10. Oh, Gimme Your Love (Daejae)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Daehyun is hurting and Youngjae wishes he had the courage to save him.  
> angst, kind of  
> Based on Got7's song, Gimme

It’s been months. Months since Daehyun last laughed, since he last smiled genuinely. Nowadays all they get is forced half smiles that never reach Daehyun’s eyes like they used to. It makes Youngjae pissed. It makes him so pissed to know that someone did this to his Dae. To his best friend, to the guy he loves. And it makes him pissed that he let it happen. He’d known from the beginning that the guy was worth nothing. And still, he’d let Daehyun go out with him, without a single word, afraid of being found out. He regrets it now. Better to have his stupid crush found out than having to see his best friend like this, suffering for someone who didn’t deserve end a hair from Daehyun’s head.

Youngjae can hear Daehyun crying at night. Nowadays it’s less. It used to be every night. But Youngjae still hears the older sobbing sometimes, in the dead of the night, and it makes his heart clench, hurting so much Youngjae feels like he was the one who got hurt. When he does hear Daehyun crying, though, he goes down to the boy’s bed and lays next to Daehyun. There is exchange no of words. Youngjae simply lies down next to the older and brings Daehyun closer, caressing his hair until the boy’s sobs stop and he drifts off, head against Youngjae’s chest.  
What frustrates Youngjae the most, though, is that he could make Daehyun happy. He knew he could. Daehyun put on a mask for the world, of a confident and secure guy. But Youngjae knew him, knew that it was all for show, and that in reality Daehyun needed a lot of reassurance. It had always been like that, and the only reason he’d managed to debut, was because Yongguk was a good leader, who praised his members at every opportunity and avoided harsh criticism. So Youngjae knew how to deal with Daehyun, knew how to make him laugh and how to make him happy. And still, it was worth nothing, because he didn’t have the courage to go up to the older and just tell him. Even seeing Daehyun so broken was not enough to help him take that step forward. It made him want, more than ever, to tell the boy about his feelings, but not quite enough that he actually did it.  
So Youngjae watches Daehyun struggle, always close enough to hold the older if he falls too deep, but not close enough to stop Daehyun’s face from growing darker whenever he remembers that stupid piece of crap that had broken him. It worries Youngjae, worries him so much. Daehyun had lost weight on those months. At first he’d even refused to eat, only eating properly a week after the break up. And the worst was that it was Daehyun. Daehyun, who would kill for food at any time, who had midnight snacks, and afternoon snacks, and morning snacks. Daehyun, who loved to eat more than anything, probably. It physically hurt Youngjae to see the boy refusing food, saying that he wasn’t hungry. It hurt him to know that Daehyun was wasting away for someone who wasn’t worth it. Not even close to being worth Daehyun.

It’s when Daehyun almost faints during dance practice that Youngjae notices that he needs to do something. That he should have done something long ago. So he carries Daehyun home, with Yongguk’s consent, ignoring the older vocalist’s complaint. As they get home, Youngjae sets Daehyun on his bed and sits next to him. He then holds Daehyun’s face between his hands and kisses Daehyun’s forehead. The boy makes a startled noise.  
“You so pretty, Dae.”  
He kisses Daehyun’s temple.  
“You’re precious, you should never be treated like that arsehole treated you.”  
He kisses Daehyun’s now red cheeks.  
“You deserve the world.”  
He kisses the tip of Daehyun’s nose, his heart pounding at the fact that Daehyun still hasn’t pushed him away.  
“I love you.”  
He wants to lean in and kiss the boy’s lips, but he won’t push the boy. So he just looks at Daehyun in the eyes. The boy is blushing and looking at Youngjae with wide innocent eyes, which shine brightly despite still seeming a bit broken.  
“I… why would you love me?”  
Asks Daehyun, seeming insecure.  
“Because you’re my world. How can I not love you?”  
Daehyun flushes a darker red and looks down, but Youngjae can see a small smile on his lips. Then Daehyun looks up and kisses the corner of Youngjae’s mouth.  
“Can you stay with me?”  
Asks the older. Youngjae just nods.

It doesn’t get better immediately. There are still days in which Daehyun looks as if he’s tired of living. Youngjae still gets mad that he didn’t do anything sooner, and still gets tired of waiting for Daehyun. But Daehyun’s crises start happening less and less, and Youngjae never gives in to his temptation, and waits for the older. Maybe one day it will be all right. Maybe one day he’ll be the one holding Daehyun, and if that happens he’ll make sure to never let him go. He’ll never let Daehyun fall again.


	11. Now Answer Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hyungwon is tired of seeing Hoseok getting his heart broken.  
> angst with a kind of happy ending  
> Based on Astro's song, confession (ya'll should check astro out, just saying.....)

Hoseok had a habit. A bad habit, if you ask Hyungwon or any of Hoseok’s friends. You see, Hoseok was known for being sexy. It was his role in Monsta X and it was a role he took very seriously. So it wasn’t unusual for people to treat him as if he was the person he pretended to be on stage. The problem with this, though, was that the person on stage wasn’t Hoseok. That was Wonho, and they were different. Oh so different. But Wonho was the one who attracted people: a bunch of bad boys and bad girls, who wanted nothing but to fool around and then disappear, leaving Hyungwon to pick up the pieces of Hoseok’s heart and glue them back together.  
Hoseok was sensitive. He didn’t like showing this to the fans, to the world, but he was the most sensitive out of the seven members in Monsta X. He’d been dubbed the cry baby of the group, and many people had laughed at that, saying that it was impossible. It wasn’t, and it was true, but Hoseok was glad to hide that fact and go along with what the fans said. But Hyungwon knew best. He knew how fast Hoseok was to fall in love, how fast he was to trust others. And all he could do was watch, his heart hurting, as Hoseok dated person after person, only to be left heartbroken and crying, wondering what he’d done wrong.  
It was a painful process to watch. Every time Hoseok came back with tear stained cheeks, Hyungwon offered him his shoulder to cry, and Hoseok did. He curled up against Hyungwon and cried his eyes out.  
“What is wrong with me, Hyungwonnie? Why doesn’t anyone want me?”  
He asked Hyungwon, on the worst days. It broke Hyungwon’s heart. Hoseok was precious, and he deserved so much better than those arseholes. He deserved someone like Hyungwon, who would love him like he should be loved, and treat him like he was the most precious thing in the world.  
“Why do you keep doing this, hyung? You know those people are worth nothing. They’re too stupid to notice what they have, how precious you are.”  
Hyungwon’s words always put a smile on Hoseok’s face, a broken smile but a smile nonetheless. But they never really hit Hoseok like Hyungwon wanted to. Never made the older realize that Hyungwon was there, just waiting for him to notice that his chance of happiness was standing right there, in front o him.  
“I love you so much.”  
Would say Hoseok, and Hyungwon’s heart would beat painfully, because he knew that it wasn’t meant the way he wanted.

It was when Hoseok came home crying his heart out and didn’t even go looking for Hyungwon to cry on him, that the younger decided that this had gone too far. he marched to the older’s room and spotted Hoseok on his bed, shoulders shaking as he cried into his pillow. He gritted his teeth and walked to the boy, laying down next to him and pulling Hoseok closer. Hoseok immediately curled up against Hyungwon, seeming smaller than ever.  
“Sleep, hyung. We’ll talk tomorrow.”  
Said Hyungwon, kissing Hoseok’s forehead and hugging the older just a bit closer.

“I don’t want to see you like this anymore, hyung. It hurts me so much.”  
Said Hyungwon. He’d given Hoseok time to heal, making the older promise he wouldn’t go out with anyone else before Hyungwon talked to him about something. Hoseok had promised and had kept his promise, and Hyungwon had used that to get even closer to the older. They’d watch movies whenever they had the time, and Hyungwon would hold Hoseok’s hand when they went out, or put an arm possessively around the older’s waist. He could see Hoseok was confused, but he seemed… content. So Hyungwon decided that he should do this already, before he lost the older once and for all.  
“I’m sorry, Hyungwonnie. I don’t know why it keeps happening. I don’t know what’s wrong with me.”  
Said the older, immediately understanding what Hyungwon was talking about. The younger didn’t even let him finish before shaking his head.  
“It’s not your fault, hyung. Those people… they are arseholes. I’ve told you this before, they don’t see what I see. They don’t see how precious you are, how amazing you are. They don’t know how much they’re losing. But I’m glad they don’t, to be honest.”  
“You… are?”  
Hoseok was looking at him confused, head tilted to the side adorably. Hyungwon laughed, trying to make his heart stop beating so fast.  
“Yes, I am. This way I can do this.” He didn’t know what he expected Hoseok’s reaction to be. But he certainly hadn’t expected the older to whimper and hold on to Hyungwon’s hips as if his life depended on it. When the kiss finally ended Hyungwon pulled back to see Hoseok standing there, blushing like crazy, but smiling like he’d just won the world. “Will you be mine?”


	12. sorry again

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Well, it seems like I'm not very good at this one fic a day thing...

Sorry, guys, I failed once again. I'm trying to write today's story, but I'm not that happy with how its turning out, so I don't if I'll upload it. I'll try anyways, and sorry again! xx


	13. Error

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It was all an error.  
> Angst  
> Based on Vixx's song, error  
> (I'm not really happy with how this turned out...)

It wasn’t healthy. It hurt more than it felt good, and hurt in a bad way. Bobby couldn’t do it. He couldn’t take it anymore. If he kept going he’d break, sooner or later. Probably sooner. So he did the only thing he could do.  
“Don’t look for me. I don’t want to see you again.”  
He’d prepared for that. He’d locked all of his emotions down. He needed to go, and needed to go alone, no memories, no emotions, no… no nothing. It would be dangerous for him to stay. But as he turned around one last time, a moment of weakness, Hanbin was looking at him, eyes wide and shining with tears. And he couldn’t leave behind the thing he should have left the most. As he continued to walk away, Hanbin was still in his heart.

He knew it was his fault. He’d let it go too far. He’d wanted to be strong, to prove to himself and to Hanbin that he could make it work. But the thing is, he couldn’t. And he’d known that from the beginning, and so had Hanbin, and still they’d insisted on trying. But Bobby was done. He needed to get away, needed to live his life away from all of that, from Hanbin, from that relationship.  
Except it didn’t work. Leaving didn’t work, running away didn’t work. He’d locked everything down, but things continued to resurface, just to drag him down when he thought he was starting to see the light on the surface. And Bobby was tired. He kept fighting, but he was tired, and he was no longer sure that he could live through this.  
He hadn’t wanted Hanbin to forget him, and maybe that was his mistake. When he left, he’d told the other to not look for him. But he’d also told Hanbin not to forget him, to watch as Bobby left and forgot him, but to keep Bobby alive in his memory. Maybe that was why he couldn’t forget Hanbin. Maybe that had been his mistake.

Bobby knew it wasn’t planned. He had asked Hanbin to not look for him, and the younger hadn’t. And Bobby had continued living, no trace that he and Hanbin even lived in the same world, let alone the same city. Until one day when he spotted a man looking at him and his heart stopped. Even after all the time they’d been apart, his heart stopped. The walls he’d built in his mind and heart came crashing down and the only thing he could think of was Hanbin.  
“Hanbin…”  
Had said Bobby, but the younger had already disappeared in the crowd. Bobby felt his heart breaking, and it hurt so much, much more than it had hurt when he and Hanbin were together. It hurt like it had on the day Bobby left. He hadn’t noticed how much it hurt to be without Hanbin. Or maybe he’d gotten so used to it that he’d learned to ignore the pain. But now it was back, and Bobby understood that his mistake, after all, had been to leave. Because while being with Hanbin hurt, being without him felt like walking through hell.  
And Bobby understood that it had all been a lie. When he told himself he had to leave it was a lie, when he thought he could leave it was a lie, when he convinced himself that he was better without Hanbin it was a lie. It had all been a lie, and now he could see it. Because being with Hanbin was dangerous. But being without him was a hundred time worse.


	14. Hey, You're So Beautiful (Banghim)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Himchan is perfect, and everybody knows. Specially Yongguk.  
> Fluff with a sprinkle of angst? Not sure  
> Based on Imfact's song. Lollipop

Himchan was beautiful. There was no other way to describe him. He was beautiful, with his attractive, flawless face, his perfect body and cute smile, that made the company hire him even though he had little experience with singing. His bright eyes and red lips, that made fans swoon and scream. Himchan was beautiful.  
This, however, had always been a problem; Himchan could never go home alone at night after practice, for example. He used to, until one night a man started following him. He’d been embarrassed by that, and since the man had done nothing, he hadn’t told anyone.

*On the following days the man had followed him twice more, until one day Himchan was walking down the road and felt a hand on his wrist. He froze and instantly turned around, knowing exactly who it was.  
“Hey there, pretty. What’s a sweet thing like you doing out here alone? You’re too sexy to be alone like that.”  
Himchan’s heart was beating like it wanted to burst from his chest and he felt more scared than he’d ever felt.  
“Let me go.”  
He said, cursing as his voice shook. The man laughed, pulling Himchan closer. The boy almost gagged in disgust as he felt the guy pressing against him.  
“Why, that’s no way to talk to someone paying you a compliment, princess.”  
Himchan pulled his wrists, trying to free himself, but he’d never been the strongest person, and the man had an iron grip on him.  
“I’m a guy, what the hell are you talking about?”  
He tried, hoping the man would back off.  
“Oh, I know you’re a guy.”  
He said, and with that he pulled Himchan forward, and Himchan saw the alley the man was headed to. He panicked, twisting around and trying to scape. Until suddenly the man let go of him with a yelp.  
“You better no come near him ever again. Do you understand?”  
Himchan had blushed at Yongguk’s words, but the relief had been ten times bigger than the embarrassment. As the man ran away, Yongguk turned to look at Himchan, and the younger threw himself at the rapper.  
“Thanks, hyung.”  
He whispered. Yongguk hugged him back.  
“You shouldn’t leave alone at night. Just wait for me, ok?”  
Himchan had nodded. He’d never left alone again.*

It wasn’t just the fan’s (and that creep’s) attention that Himchan had caught, however. From day one, Yongguk had been watching silently. He had known, from the beginning, that it would be hard to work with the younger, because everything Himchan did seemed to distract Yongguk. Specially smiling. When Himchan smiled genuinely, his cute bunny teeth showing, Yongguk swore he could melt.  
He’d been pissed, too, from the beginning, at how much attention Himchan got. Not because he was jealous, far from that. But because Himchan worked extremely hard on his singing, and his voice was beautiful, so beautiful. And yet, all people ever commented on was his looks. How pretty he was, how those jeans showed his ass off so well. And how he would be perfect if not for those bunny teeth of his. It made Yongguk pissed to see those comments and it broke his heart to see Himchan looking so down when he read them.  
“Is my voice bad, Bbang?”  
Yongguk had frozen in place at Himchan’s question. They were in the practice room, a few days after their debut. The others had gone home already, and only Himchan and Yongguk were left.  
“What?”  
Had asked Yongguk. Himchan refused to look at him.  
“Is my voice that bad?”  
Yongguk had struggled to talk, simply because he couldn’t believe Himchan was asking that.  
“What… no, of course not, what the hell? Where did you even get that from?”  
Himchan was still looking down.  
“I… all I ever see the fans saying is how good I look, how I should take my shirt of, how… how I should get my teeth done. Why is this all that they see, hyung? Is this all that I am? A pretty face to entertain them while you guys sing?”  
Himchan was crying. He was crying and Yongguk wanted to kill everyone who had made his precious Himchan feel like that. He pulled the younger boy close, hugging him tightly as Himchan laid his head on Yongguk’s chest.  
“Channie, you’re perfect. Your voice is so beautiful and so sweet, and if the fans don’t notice that then they need to get their ears checked. You’re so precious, Channie. Your smile is the cutest thing in the world, and it would look wrong if you ever changed your teeth. Your voice is perfect, so just… just don’t let fan comments get you down, ok? I’ll always love you no matter what.”  
Himchan had looked up and, after a second of hesitation, he’d leaned in and kissed Yongguk. It didn’t even take a second for Yongguk to kiss back. The kiss tasted… salty, because of Himchan’s tears, but underneath it there was something sweet, and Yongguk had always known that Himchan’s kiss would taste sweet. It had to.

After that, Yongguk became ten times more protective of Himchan. He’d always been protective of the younger, always ready to act if someone dared to hurt him. But now he could do it, and Himchan wouldn’t be weirded out. Himchan found it funny.  
“I don’t know why you worry so much, Bbang.” He’d say, slipping his hand on the older’s to hold it. “It’s not like there’s a whole lot of people wanting me.”  
Yongguk would glare at the staffs staring at Himchan with watering mouths, making them jump and quickly look away, and then at Himchan, for the self-deprecating comment.  
“You truly have no idea of how precious you are, baby.” He’d say, and then kiss Himchan, once they were away from prying eyes. “You’re perfect.”


End file.
